Lately the thing I do most when I’m just sitting there, pondering, is rubbing the two dark chin hairs that need plucked sprouted from my exciting and exasperating menopause journey. Lol.
As I told you, I have posts about the rigors of aging, part two of that menopause journey, social media opinions, what I’m eating, etc, but I just wasn’t quite ready to share any of those yet. They need twerking ya know! So what would I post today?
I can tell you I have a couple really big topics on my mind, but I’ll never share them on the World Wide Web or Insta, because they affect people, you know what I mean? Things that are really happening in my life, I can’t necessarily spill because I don’t want to hurt anyone or stir it up so to say. Yet, trust me when I say, they are all things that you could probably relate to especially women in this stage of life. And it’s not symptom related like a dry vagina or wanting to claw someone’s eyes out because they looked at you wrong. It’s the hurt in the heart and soul stuff.
That heart of mine is heavy and aches a lot lately! But I still try to be the positive, upbeat person that I know God leads me to be to bring smiles and joy to others! But lately I feel like I just got a BIG F in life! I don’t think I ever got an F on any assignment I did in school and failure is something that I seem to deal with quite well. I mean life is all about successes and failures, but in so many realms of my life right now I feel like I’m failing AND flailing. But this quote gave me some peace, your now is not your forever.
I feel like I’m asking the questions. What now? What to do in so many situations. While I always had a goal of becoming a college level professor, to go back to school now seems pointless when I retired early as to get out of the working world. Full-time influencing definitely is not my gig, it’s not for the weak of heart and it’s really so oversaturated. And truly, is giving you a link to a sweatshirt you’ll love really making a difference? Well, maybe a little. LOL! #cozychicrules
I will continue to dabble a little in all aspects of lifestyle influencing and for the relationships that are positive but that’s about it, lol.
I am extremely lucky that I have an amazing provider in Mr. Nine to allow me the opportunity to even ponder these things. Years ago, I wouldn’t have been so lucky, and I know some people have no choice in the profession that they are in. But that doesn’t mean you can’t dream or make changes.
Metaphorically and in reality, the sun comes back out even though in much of the country it doesn’t seem like it will in January, but it does. Every season has an expiration date. Even unfortunately, the good ones. I must try my hardest to make the most of each season, whether it’s finding strength in the bad season of life or grasping on tighter to the joys in the good ones.
Life ebbs and flows, and like a mountain hike, we climb out of the valleys and reach peaks when it’s our time.
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xoxo
What's next is always a hard question to answer. Hopefully something comes up that inspires you. In the meantime maybe there are ways to do what you are doing while putting less pressure on yourself. I sometimes have to remind myself why I started and ignore the rat race aspects of this online world.
ReplyDeleteI feel you my friend. It's so good that you are writing your feelings and questions down. I am in a similar season myself and have had to take a step back and reassess. I would love to hang sometime and talk. Art journaling is my way of processing these feelings. What I definitely am reading here is that you are waiting in the pain which is so hard. So much wisdom is coming your way so keep waiting and resting. God has a plan for you. Love you so much! We are definitely soul sisters. XO
ReplyDeleteHello, this is the first time I’ve commented on your posts, I hope I’m doing it right, lol. I wanted to tell you that you have definitely made a positive impact on my life! I look forward to your posts, love your decorating ideas, search for and buy your gift ideas, laugh at and share your memes, and see your joys and pains. You feel like a friend even though we’ve never met! I can tell you that this pesky menopause thing will relent one day and you will feel like a brand new person, I promise. Take care of yourself and there’s no rush in finding your next calling, it’s ok to just be in a resting, creative, thoughtful phase for as long as you need.
ReplyDeleteI have never written a letter and not sent it but I have written a letter that I probably should NOT have sent! I probably write too much controversial stuff on my blog (though I truly do hold back!). I can´t pretend that we aren´t living in a clown world right now. I appreciate blogs that are super positive most of the time but I am too much of a realist to pretend or ignore some things that are happening and I write about them. Well, enough about me- I am all about keeping it real and I appreciate you sharing some of what it is going on with you. I enjoy your words and your influence (I wouldn´t have my newest Christmas tree if it weren´t for you!) and think you are making a difference to many women, a lot of whom you have never met personally.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read a blog post in so long, and I was sitting here waiting for something to upload for work and was thinking...what is Andrea up to and came here to this. Sending hugs friend. I often ponder if I am where I am supposed to be with work. Wondering if my true dream will ever come to fruition. And missing blogging, but decided sometime last year that if I cant share what I really want to talk about, why bother at all and basically turned my blog into book reviews only because I love to talk about books, and I still wanna get those free ARC copies! Anyways. Came to say, God isn't done with you yet my friend. Listen to him, I bet he will nudge you somewhere.
ReplyDeleteI did a part-time job as a community college teacher right after I graduated college and I LOVED it! It was a 'second' job for me and I gave it up when I got pregnant with Nathan, but I taught 2-3 evening classes and it was a lot of fun! Plus, since I taught in the evening I got a lot of 'older' people and it was just more relaxing. I remember one lady even took my class twice, for fun... because she loved my class so much! I did a Graphics for the Web, Visual Basic and HTML! It was so fun! I would love to do that again, but given I just blog now I have no idea how I'd get back into it. So, I def. think if that is something you want to do, maybe you could look into teaching part-time. I hope you can find out what your next is for your life... I have been pondering some change for my own life with my youngest being 18 in 3.5 years. I'm itching for something different!
ReplyDeleteCarrie
curlycraftymom.com
So much of this resonated with me today- need to read these words- thank you my friend- going to try to write some letters too- I appreciate the inspiration XO
ReplyDeleteWow! Love this post Andrea! I can so relate! Annie
ReplyDeleteMany years ago a counselor suggested I write a letter to someone I was really struggling to communicate with. It was not sent but writing it all out helped me to clarify my feelings a bit. Since then I have done the same thing a few more times and it always helps me. This is such an introspective time of year- holidays over, blah weather, etc. Today it is very icy out so another home day...I miss getting out and getting my "people fix!" You are not alone! I am not a blogger\
ReplyDeleteinfluencer but often feel I spend too much time online scrolling through Facebook, Pinterest, etc. These activities don't feed my soul and the addictive pull of the whole social media thing troubles me a lot. The same counselor shared a quote from Rainer Maria Wilke with me-"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, as you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything.Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."
I love this post. End of story.
ReplyDeleteWhile I adore your home tours and fashion, I feel as though posts like these are much more YOU. You are so good at writing and sharing your heart, and all of us in this community are lucky to live in your world! And side note: I'm 44 and to this day (since Jr. High!) still write in journals for my thoughts or situations I'm going through that I may not want to share with even those closest to me. Writing is so therapeutic. I applaud you for sharing your thoughts with us and I love you very much!! xoxo
Shauna
www.lipglossandlace.net
You can see how much this resonated with everyone today.
ReplyDeleteI can tell you that it's not just women that deal with this. Even my husband can join this conversation!
Sending hugs
Xoxo
Jodie
I always have loved your blogs and Instagram. It is hard work I know. I’m praying that you get through this valley or season you’re in. God has a plan for you and me, even at my age of 77.❤️
ReplyDeleteI can relate! I often think about reinventing myself with a new career, but then realize that Michael is nearing retirement and it will be our time to travel together etc.
ReplyDeleteWhat a heart felt post! You are definitely a "helper" and such a "cheerleader" for other women! This brings up some ideas I'd love to share with you, but I will text you or DM you.
ReplyDeleteOh, Andrea, you will figure it out and there are seasons in our lives and sometimes we have to leave behind something to move forward. Wishing you all the best!
ReplyDeleteI have been following you for several years and love everything about your posts - fashion, decorating, traveling, the new twins. You are a shining star in my life. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteLoved this post so much and I can see that everyone else did too! I always love your posts and that you keep it real too! You are such an inspiration and I know that it will all fall into place very soon. Love ya!
ReplyDeleteJill - Doused in Pink
Hi Andrea, Yes writing a letter is good to do I have done it many times when I have been hurt by someone, I find it is therapy life can be difficult at times I have never mailed the letters I write for most of the time the feeling I had at the time of writing them fades away .I am finding that is why I have a garbage can by my desk for if it is truly painful that some did I put them in the garbage can I have so many things in there I don't empty it right away for you can take the person out of it but once you empty it you can't do that just knowing that they are in there is enough for me. I am going to empty it after I take some out for it has been over 20 years for some and they really need to go. Never think that you are not making a difference for you just being you is making a difference. They say never put yourself down or in question. Just seeing the little twins and how your face is lit up is a difference. Just keep doing what you love, and all other things will fall into place. Don't ever stop being you because of something or someone else.
ReplyDeleteGirl, be patient when you’re becoming someone you haven’t been before. Everything will work out for you! (I saw this quote right after I read your blog post today).
ReplyDeleteSame. I relate to this on so many levels. Trying to find joy in the hard seasons can be so tough...but it's there. Prayer, devotionals and the folks that understand me "where I'm at'"....make all the difference. Brighter days are ahead. Thanks for sharing your heart.
ReplyDeleteWriting has always been my therapy. I started writing when I was 6 or 7 and haven't stopped yet. There's something so comforting and freeing about putting pen to paper... or typing these days, I suppose. :o) Whatever it is you're going through, I pray you make it through to the other side soon! Thinking of you, Andrea!
ReplyDeleteOh my friend I can so relate. It can be a balancing act with what to share and put out there, and where to pull back. This was such a good reminder that your now is not your forever. I needed that. I pray this season is only a short chapter for you as the rest of your story is being written. You have always been such a positive and genuine light. Sending all the love <3
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing sweet friend! This resonates with so many of us. I often feel like I'm drowning in the mundane and over exhaustion of life. love following along with your life and all the things that you share. Sending hugs your way!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your heart! I can so relate to your feelings. Love you friend
ReplyDeleteSending you all the hugs sweet friend - I wish I could help shoulder some of the pain you're currently going through, but completely understand not wanting to put it out there on the internet. My mind is always racing between work, huge to-do lists, family stuff, my blog which has been almost non-existent lately. You have one of the kindest hearts I have ever encountered, and hope it is filled to the top with happiness and love <3
ReplyDeleteI've been feeling this way as well. Your post really spoke to me! Sending you love and hugs. I know you will figure it out!!
ReplyDeleteAndrea, you bring so much positivity into the world whether through your words, recipes, or outfits. Thinking about you and always here if you need anything!
ReplyDeleteI am so right there where you are. Turning 54 next Monday, going through so much and yeah, can't share all to protect the privacy of loved ones. But, I digress. Your lovey pup might make a wonderful Certified Therapy Dog. Last year, my Furgus, a Collie, and I began this work together through Alliance of Therapy Dogs and joined a local group here called Comfort Canines of Tulsa. Two regular places for us to visit are at my church, Trinity Lutheran, Broken Arrow and The Children's Hospital at St. Francis, Tulsa. We have done other visits, hospice, grief camps, funerals. It has been so helpful for me! You sound like you would love sharing your pup's love and your caring to others. Take a look at the website for ATD đŸ¤—
ReplyDeleteHI Andrea I was popping over to see the girls and then read your post referencing the blank page and down the rabbit hole (with my Uggs) I went.
ReplyDeleteI think you JUST found your voice. In one of your year end posts about goodbye to mean girls i thought? It's not just me. Like this does not go away in middle school or high school (and I am dying to share stories). Happy Day Keep going! xo laura in colorado
PS how far are you from Columbus OH? I am in Colorado my daughter's brand new husband is from Columbus. We used to live there as well. xo laura
ReplyDelete