Oh friends, why is it that women do not talk about menopause? It is such an ordeal and in my guesstimation I feel like it is for many, yet no one talks about it enough. Why aren’t we helping each other? I feel so alone in this journey, yet every single woman who reaches a certain age, has gone through it! The menopause journey needs to be addressed more! I’ll try to tackle a little of it with humor because I just must before I go insane, lol.

I knew that when I had my hysterectomy and had everything removed, except for my cervix, that I would immediately go into menopause, I was already on my way there with my periods being quite far apart, but my symptoms were not horrible. They weren’t even horrible for the first few months after my surgery. Heck, taking that uterus, cysts, and endometriosis out, I even lost 5lbs cause that’s how much I think it all weighed, lol! However, one of the reasons I was so scared of surgery was because I felt like the procedure and the menopause journey would age me and age me quickly, and boy has it ever! However, more than that, I feel like it has robbed and taken so many things from me as a woman! And I will NOT sugar coat it or hold back! You need the truth!


Who is this person who is inhabiting my body, my vagina, my mind? I don’t know her, and I don’t really like her! LOL



This is a list of the thing’s menopause has taken from me.

~my hair…it’s now brittle and coarse, more so than just hair color damage

~my skin…dry and dull and I never had problems with that before.

~my mood…irritable as hell yes not h.e.double.hockey sticks but HELL and I’m not normally an irritable person

~my personality…yeah that’s a lil drastic and goes along with mood but I’m not as happy go lucky and I find myself not caring about shizzzz!

~my sleep…this was bad peri menopause but hello 2am-5am, I see you!

~my boobs, OK this isn’t really menopause related but age related, but my small size B perky boobs are now often found under my under arms, lol

~my VAGINA..no joke folks, I don’t know her! Dry, different and get this, I think the outer lips to my vagina have gone from firm to saggy too. WTH?

~my libido…this went downhill about 6 months post op! Now the cream I’ll mention later does help and it’s all ok in that department…k…S.E.X BUT it’s still not the libido I used to know.

~my brain…menopause fog is real

~my energy…she who was the energizer bunny is now the traumatized turtle!


AND to top it all off, I’m growing a beard and by that, I mean 2 dark course chin hairs it took giant tweezers to remove, lol.

Yeah, they should call it "Man"opause because sometimes I have to put my man on pause if you know what I mean!

I asked the doctor, without hormone replacement, how do I get through this, and he said you just do. Which is true and which is what my mom and other women have said, but I don’t want to feel like complete crap the whole time while I’m getting through it. The length of time a woman is in menopause varies greatly; it could even be for years.


Here’s what I’m doing to help. At times I don’t feel like any of it is working, but I can only imagine where I would be without doing these things primarily which are beneficial to my health anyway.

~Using topical estrogen and testosterone creams prescribed by my GYN

~Exercising daily

~Eating whole foods, cutting back on all the whites like flour, sugar and dairy and eliminating a lot of gluten

~In addition to my vitamins, I take an all-natural supplement called Vitex Chaste Tree (get it HERE) which I feel helps with symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats. STRONGLY RECOMMEND THIS!

I’m definitely not here for a pity party. What I am here for is to tell you you’re not alone and get all this off my mind to help in this journey. Whether you are going through menopause, getting close, have been through it, or will one day I think the majority of us can relate how much it changes us.  

How we had no idea what we were in for.

This is a safe space. Menopause is NOT Taboo, it needs to be talked about! What is your experience with menopause, years leading up to it or post menopause? Has anything helped you? 


Stay COOL, lol.

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  1. This is great and you are brave! I think I am starting menopause. I have a suggestion for the sleep issue. I started taking Goli brand Ashwagandha - just one before bed - and I find it keeps me asleep. You can actually take 4 a day, but I just take one. Also, I just started coconut oil on my face and I am seeing a difference. And, yes to the chin hairs. My new hobby is sitting in my car (I keep tweezers) and using my mirror to play "let's see how many more black hairs people have seen on my chin today".
    Ugh - It's not easy!

  2. I feel ya girl! So glad you are bringing this topic out there. It's been a struggle for me too and I'm not totally there yet! My Bed Jet and Cozy Earth duvet has really helped me. I am a taking a low dose of a depression mediation for my night sweats too. I also cannot take hormone replacement pills because of the cancer risk. So we will suffer together with a cocktail in hand!


  3. It is strange how little people talk about it when over half of the population will experience it at some point. Thanks for being open, Andrea.

  4. My perimenopause symptoms have been no joke that I am scared about what's in store for me when I actually reach menopause. Everyone says "it's just something you have to get through" but life is for living and I want to enjoy every day, not just play the waiting game. It is important for us to know what help is available and to take advantage of it. But I also think that sometimes the origin of these symptoms can be difficult to decipher - is it menopause or depression? Ya know? So difficult. But we do need to talk about it for sure! Love ya!

  5. Amen girl! I am grateful for you and all you have shared with me- you made me feel that I was not alone in these battles- it is brutal whether you are taking hormones or not- you got this- you are beautiful inside and out! XO

  6. Thanks for being so open. I know that it is a tough time as I am going through it at the moment. Thankfully at the moment other than the beard, hot flashes, night sweats and ahem....dryness. I'm doing ok. But looking back on the last couple of years when other things were going on. I never put two and two together to realise that a lot of the things that I was feeling was probably due to menopause. This is exactly why we need to talk about it more. Thanks again for sharing 😊

  7. Thank you for being so honest. I am not there yet but I am scared and knowing a few people ahead of me will help a great deal when I do get there. There are so many of these things that I already feel are changing for me and although I am trying to take them in stride it would be a lie that it's not something I am looking forward to. And yes we just have to deal with some of it but on the other hand WHY? Why do we need to stay quite and take it? If men were going through half of that, I feel that there would be a lot more science put behind it to make the process less demeaning. Again, thank you for your honesty.


  8. Thank you for sharing this. I'm super worried because I have a lot of the issues you mention already just because of my hormones being out of whack!

  9. Thank you friend! I am right there with you....it's awful. I had been going through peri for years and now full blown menopause. Relentless. HRT scares me so I try and find other outlets and information...so grateful you addressed this!! I have found that magnesium helps me sleep and has so many other benefits. I also have started taking Vit K2 with my Vit D3....I have cut out my calcium supplement. Do your research on these...it's eye opening. I just don't know why we are kept in the dark so much on this subject. We are prepared in our youth what to expect when periods start but no one truly addresses or prepares you for its aggressive exit! It's so much more than hot flashes. We will get through it together! Praying for us all!

  10. Anonymous9.1.23

    I started on Bio-identical HRT years ago. A God send I tell ya, an absolute God send. All of the menopause symptoms magically disappeared. I’m being 100% honest about this. My husband just started on HRT as well. We’re in our mid sixties and although sex isn’t what it used to be, its still pretty dang amazing! We (mostly I) exercise, are healthy, take vitamins, try to eat healthy for the most part, and are so grateful for Bio-identicals. Its definitely worth looking into.

  11. Thank you for sharing this! I can't imagine what it must be like to feel like a foreigner in your own skin. You will get back to you - just know it!! Love to you!

  12. Yes Andrea!! THANK YOU and Absolutely!! I'm not the quiet type, so my entire workplace (which is mostly men) has known what I'm going through these last 6 years, and what they can expect their wives to go through. The sweater off quickly during meetings - then back on. The brain fog - they make sure I write down what they want me to do so I don't forget. Having to turn my desk fan on in the middle of a conversation. Someone even walked into my office once when I had my head down on the desk so I wouldn't fall over from dizziness, or cry from the wave of emotion hitting me out of nowhere. Not even going to talk about trying to sleep. Not everyone has it this bad, thank goodness, but there are enough of us! I love this thread with all the suggestions and tips. I'm definitely looking into them. THANK YOU for broaching the subject, and just for the record, you're still totally beautiful - outside and in!

  13. Anonymous9.1.23

    Oh friend, I am sorry! Thank you for sharing all of this. I am definitely afraid of what is to come, but there isn't anything that I can do about it haha. I know that it is easier said that than done, but just keep doing what is working for you and you will get through it. I also still and always will see you as the bright light and kind person that you are! Sending you a hug too! XO, Caroline

    1. Anonymous9.1.23

      P.S. Love you friend!

  14. I never understood why people dont talk about this either.... Everything - EVERYTHING you said, YES! I have every single thing too! Every day, I'm amazed at how much moisturizer I put on my face & its still dry... & my hair! I cant believe its my hair. It used to be so smooth & silky... now i'm a frizzball who hates to touch my hair... & GIR! GIRL!!!!! That hair on my chin. I DIE! I always use that face razor on my chin every day. Its amazing how the body changes in this all! .... I think I may have told you - but check out The Galveston Diet... this doctor is all about menopause - she has a diet & some supplements.Funny enough - I followed her just for her videos & updates - & lo & behold, she was Julie's OBGYN when she lived in Galveston - she delivered my 1st & 2nd grandson!!! Julie ADORED her & said she would trust no one else! ... Check her out! She's on youTube- IG & TikTok! SHe posts helpful info all the time & has Live Chats... she's awesome!

  15. Anonymous9.1.23

    Thanks for sharing all of this, Andrea. I'm 45, so I am not far off and I feel I am def. in perimenopause now with having trouble sleeping when I never had trouble before and headaches more often around my monthly thing. I was looking online for a book to help me and there really isn't a lot out there. I hope you will continue to find ways to make yourself feel better and get through this... thanks for always being real and not sugar coating it.


  16. It is amazing how things change so much. It's like going through puberty...I thought that was crazy.
    I do feel like our diet plays a huge factor, so I'll be interested to see if that helps you.
    Life is all about change, which is why it's so wonderful we talk about it now and stop pushing it under the rug!!

  17. This is a great topic to talk about Andrea. I went on HRT for about a year and it helped me. The side effects of menopause are horrible but they eventually go away. I think by you having a healthy lifestyle helps and you will get through this.

  18. Right there with you. Thanks for bringing this out into the open!

  19. Thank you for sharing your struggles and symptoms and putting it out there! I needed to read this today. I wonder what happened to ME sometimes too! I can so relate to a lot of what you're going through, I hope you keep us posted on your journey! xo

  20. Oh boy! You are a rockstar for sharing what you are going through to help normalize it all and help us to not feel alone! Great tip about the supplement too. I'll be saving this post for later!

  21. While I know it's not funny so much of this is true; my husband just pointed out a long black chin hair on me yesterday and I told him I do tweeze them when I see them but I can't always find them in the bathroom mirror! LOL. I was told that my surgery would not put me into menopause since they left my ovaries in but I do have a lot of signs already-- mostly the night sweats and hot flashes (that make me incredibly nauseous until my body temp gets back to normal).. I just keep hoping that I'll take after my mom with this as she swears her transition was pretty mild and easy.

  22. You are not alone. Partial hysterectomy 8 years, then metasticized cancer the past 3 1/2 years to deal with. The cancer drugs have finished off with the post op menopause started.

  23. I am so glad you talked about this! So few do!! I turned 40 and the hot flashes have been NO JOKE! My mom went through menopause before she turned 50 so I am thinking I may do the same. Not to mention, She was going through it while we were planning my wedding! ;)

  24. I am so not looking forward to this! Waaaahhhh! My mom has told me so much about it and it just sounds miserable!

  25. Hi Andrea: As someone who is approaching her mid-60's I can sympathize with all of what you are describing as I started going through menopause in my early 40's. I knew to expect certain things but not others, like the vaginal dryness and discomfort you describe. Women of my "age" were always told not to talk about "women things" not even our periods to other women and I have to say that I am SO GLAD that times have changed in this regard. Women need to talk with one another and to support one another with the different aspects of life and aging. Vaginal creams do help some with the dryness as well as using good lubricant. The libido challenge is real, however, and I don't know that there is a cure for that. Although, I chose not to take HRT and I have heard some women say it helps. The moodiness, irritability, hot flashes, etc. Oh yes, I had it all. And, I am sorry to say, not everything goes away in a few years. I still have occasional hot flashes twenty years in. Not saying this to depress you or anyone, just letting folks know that not all of menopause is over right away. For some women it may be. For others it's not. I wish you well as you go through this journey and, just know, that you are not alone and that women are strong and do make it through these years. And there is still joy to be found.

  26. Anonymous10.1.23

    I have been using red light therapy (bought a small one off Amazon) on my face. I didn't buy it for sleep, but for skin purposes. I was shocked by how much better I sleep now. I was constantly waking up and now I sleep so soundly and straight through. This happened after my first use of it and has continued, and I am on month four now. It could be worth a try, and the skin benefits are worth a try as well.

  27. Anonymous10.1.23

    Throw caution to the wind and go for the hormone replacement therapy. I tried to feel “normal” for 2 years after my periods stopped. I never made it to anything that felt somewhat normal. Hormone replacement therapy is the way to go. Get your life back!!

  28. Thank you for sharing. Although I'm not there yet (it's coming soon!), I'm dreading the sleep part. Like you, I have horrible sleep as it is (2am to 5am for me too!), so I'm definitely worried about the toll it will take on me. Fun times ahead lol. Have a wonderful trip to CA! I live in Southern CA, so next time you are here, we HAVE to meet up! xo

  29. Sending all the hugs sweet friend, and thank you so much for sharing this. It's amazing to me how much it's not talked about.

  30. Anonymous12.1.23

    Thank for sharing! I'm getting there with my last 2 periods being more than 40 days apart and wondering when the others will show up!

  31. I appreciate you sharing this, it definitely isn't talked about enough! I think I am entering perimenopause and I didn't even know that was a thing until a few years ago. I follow a lot of hormone health accounts on Instagram because mine are so out of wack and I have been trying hard with diet and lifestyle changes to balance them before they go crazy again with all this mess. Sending hugs friend!

  32. Anonymous16.1.23

    Thanks for your honesty ! It is something we need to talk about. I was clueless when I had a hysterectomy at 40, but after horrible symptoms, a friend recommended pellets. They are a lifesaver. I sleep so much better and my sex life is better than when I was younger. Look at the research, it is much safer than going without.

  33. Anonymous17.1.23

    I do believe it should be talked about. The symptoms women experience may vary but a list of what is possible should be shared with us as soon as we hit 40 years old. Some friends of mine hit menopause in the 40s. I'm about to be 55 and I'm still having a period but definitely got blood work done to check my hormone levels because for 5 years I've had periods where there is flooding and I need to take a sick day monthly because I am in jobs where I cannot run to the bathroom every hour to change an overnight pad. My dear older sister didn't stop until 58. I hope I stop sooner but I wish I knew what was on the other side of this. She doesn't even share what symptoms she has now. Gosh, if only we knew when we started our periods at age 12, 13, 14, 15 to buy stock in Proctor & Gamble because we'd be buying their products monthly for years on end-- we'd be rich! Please tell me, I will get my brain back someday.... I'd like to get more education so I can career change. ~ another Andrea

  34. I sooo appreciate this post. While I still have my ovaries, I do have some of the symptoms you have since having my hysterectomy. But you did prepare me for some of this and I am so grateful for that.


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