It doesn’t get easier. It’s gets different. As the years pass it becomes less physically demanding, my teenagers rarely insist that I carry them around anymore, but the exhaustion remains. The protective instinct you feel toward your baby from the second it emerges from your body does not dissipate as they get older. In some ways, it grows stronger the more you have to let them go. I'm letting go this year...Senior Year and it's tough. I don't know if I can do it. I've told you on the blog how much we love raising teen boys but man, over the years, there have still been stressful times. There are for us all. I wrote this post as an ode to the hard parts of motherhood over the years and just when I thought I couldn't do it anymore.....
There's no way I can have another gut wrenching contraction with no pain meds. Nope, I'm done. I can't do this anymore! Then a voice says yes you can.
Middle of the night, when you're rocking, rocking, rocking, and pacing, pacing, pacing, staring out the window at other quiet, dark houses and thinking, "Everyone out there is sleeping, but me." I can't do this anymore. Then a voice says yes you can.
There is vomit in my hair, I haven't gotten a shower today, purple crayon needs cleaned off the wall, there is clutter everywhere, why is there glitter on the dog?, how can I get dinner ready? I can't do this anymore. Then a voice says yes you can.
I am sitting on the floor of Target with a child who is thrashing, screaming and calling me names. I can't do this anymore. Abandon the cart, Abandon the cart. Then a voice says yes you can.
Stop fighting over one Lego. One stupid Lego. Screaming "It's one Fricken Lego!!!!" Ugh, I can't do this anymore. Then a voice says yes you can.
"He has more presents than me, you like him more, why can't I have one?" Whine, whine, whine. I can't do this anymore. Then a voice says yes you can.
"Mom, I'm gonna die, she's in love with someone else. Why did she say she'd be mine forever? I'm never dating again mom, she broke me heart." Now, my heart is breaking because my baby's is aching. I can't do this anymore. Then a voice says yes you can.
Drivers license in hand, what if he gets in an accident, what if he gets a ticket, it's 11:12pm, he was suppose to be home 12 min ago. What is he doing? I can't do this anymore. Then a voice says yes you can.
Didn't get into first college choice despite great grades, application after application, FAFSA forms, scholarships, fee after fee, saving and saving. I can't do this anymore. Then a voice says yes you can.
1997, first time mom
1997, first time mom
Yet after 18 years, you did it!! Yes you could and you did!! Although the days will come when your heart is aching and you look out the window in the silence missing them so saying I can't do this anymore. Yes You Can and so will they.
Linking up with Andrea and Erika for the Let's Talk Series // Thoughts for Thursday
xoxo
Linking up with Andrea and Erika for the Let's Talk Series // Thoughts for Thursday
xoxo
That brought back memories!!! And, I agree...at 22 and 26, I still have days that I question things, and have to remember, "yes I can"!!
ReplyDeleteSomething I told myself when both my girls went off to college for the first time that helped tremendously was that, while I could not physically do things for them while they were away, I could do the VERY BEST THING FOR THEM and that is PRAY FOR THEM!!! Something we don't often do when they are right there with us.
Parenting is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done, but it is so rewarding too. I am sure those I can't do it moments will keep coming, thanks for the reminder that yes we can! I hope your Easter is lovely, Andrea!
ReplyDeleteAwwww this was such a sweet post, I seriously teared up a little. Probably because I can already relate to the first couple of situations (and boy are they dead on) and I know that I am going to be feeling all these things as my baby girl grows up. Great post. I'm going to go cry now, hehe (because having a baby also makes you so much more emotional).
ReplyDeleteErica
www.pumpsandpushups.com
This is beautiful! Thanks for speaking to my heart today. :)
ReplyDeleteGirl! Motherhood is SOOO darn exhausting and there are days when I just want to throw in the towel! Thanks so much for encouraging me to keep pressing on. Yes, it's hard, but the rewards far out weigh the pain and stress. Hope you've had a wonderful Easter!
ReplyDeleteI love love love this. Thank you for sharing it, Andrea!!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't make it through this post without crying. I am thinking about my mom too as well I am thinking about myself. Sure Yes You Can!
ReplyDeleteEven though Ethan is my stepson and I didn't give birth to him the things I feel definitely overwhelm me... Whether it's love, being proud, fear, etc. I always say I want time to slow down, but I can't wait to see what big things he does in this world. Being a mother can be so exhausting, but yes ...all worth it. Love this post!
ReplyDeleteAw I love this, such a beautiful post! You should be so proud of the amazing mother you are and no matter what the age, your boys will always need you in their life :)
ReplyDeleteThis was so sweet!!!! I can't even begin to fathom having a teenager out driving and dating and starting to become their own person and having to let go.
ReplyDeleteWell now I'm just sobbing away over here. Such a great post Andrea, and you know I can totally relate! Just this weekend I told my husband that I can't bear the thought of our youngest off at college next year, and not getting to see him every day. But I know I'll get through, just like all the other tough parts of parenting. You and I can lean on each other for support!
ReplyDeleteAww...I love this! And it's so true it doesn't get easier it just gets different no matter how old they are. Those damn FAFSA forms...I have to say I'm glad I have a reprieve for a few years. Love this picture of you with your little guy.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. I'm still in the toddler-on-the-floor-of-Target stage, but I imagine what it will be like one day when my little boys get bigger than me, and I have to let them be the grown-up people I'm raising them to be. Motherhood is a wonderful challenge. Thanks for your perspective.
ReplyDeleteLOVE this post! Beautifully written, lady! I will tuck this away for later. :)
ReplyDeleteOk my kids are in their twenties but....
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to carry them around (as teenagers?) I was jipped! LOL Seriously know just how you feel. It doesn't get any easier as they get older, a MOM just gets used to it. Every time the phone rings I am tempted to answer it "What'd you do now" or my fav "How much do you need?" LOL
Beautiful post, Andrea! I can sooo relate... My older son is turning 25 this year; when he was very little a good friend said to me that it doesn't really get easier, just different. How right she was!
ReplyDeleteOh how I remember those days walking up and down and up and down and rocking, rocking, rocking! I think all ages have their challenges for us Mamas right? But we wouldn't change it for the world. Love this celebration of Motherhood, thank you so much for sharing it at #sharethejoy and linking up with me and Regina x
ReplyDeletehow did I miss this post- love your perspective on this!
ReplyDeleteAll teared up at my desk reading this. I think that sums it up babe!
ReplyDeleteAwww, so sweet! You are a great mom and I hope as my kids get older I remind myself, YES I CAN!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a wonderfully encouraging post, thank you for sharing it... I'm about 3 or 4 steps into your ode and felt every word of what you said up until that point and can imagine the rest coming my way before too long, so thanks again #sharethejoy
ReplyDeleteI love this! It's never really over though... ;)
ReplyDeleteBeauifully put Andrea. We go throught all of that and more. And in the end we are there worriying and missing them so much but also very proud that we have raised men!
ReplyDeleteA truly beautiful post. My son is 9 and I'm NOT looking forward to his teen years! Stopping by from the Sharefest.
ReplyDeleteStill mothering over here...texted my 31 year old daughter through a bad morning. Life long commitment of LOVE. Nothing better.
ReplyDeleteAndrea, this was SO sweet. And so relatable on so many levels. I relate to all those stages, but am closest to the last one, as all mine have flown the nest, save the last and she is perched just on the edge! I'm there with you, sis, and YES YOU CAN do this! We will worry for the rest of their lives, but God is faithful and gives peace and hope.
ReplyDeleteI'm featuring your post next week on Tuesday Talk because I want other moms to read and be encouraged! I'd like to use your sweet graphic up top for the feature too if that's ok.
Enjoy your weekend!
~Ruthie from http://www.rearreleaseregroup.com/
Thank you for sharing this, Andrea. I try so hard to cherish every stage, but I'll admit the fighting over one fricken lego thing really bothers me. I have four boys, so this post was especially meaningful to me. My oldest are 10, 9,and 8, so thanks for sharing what's potentially coming.
ReplyDeleteAn awesome post on motherhood! :)
ReplyDeleteAmazing, love how empowering this post is! Thank you x
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog from Home of Malones linkup and love this message. I'm also a Midwest mama, so will definitely be stopping back for more updates :) Have a great day!
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