It doesn’t get easier. It’s gets different. As the years pass it becomes less physically demanding, my teenagers rarely insist that I carry them around anymore, but the exhaustion remains. The protective instinct you feel toward your baby from the second it emerges from your body does not dissipate as they get older. In some ways, it grows stronger the more you have to let them go. I'm letting go this year...Senior Year and it's tough. I don't know if I can do it. I've told you on the blog how much we love raising teen boys but man, over the years, there have still been stressful times. There are for us all. I wrote this post as an ode to the hard parts of motherhood over the years and just when I thought I couldn't do it anymore.....
There's no way I can have another gut wrenching contraction with no pain meds. Nope, I'm done. I can't do this anymore! Then a voice says yes you can.
Middle of the night, when you're rocking, rocking, rocking, and pacing, pacing, pacing, staring out the window at other quiet, dark houses and thinking, "Everyone out there is sleeping, but me." I can't do this anymore. Then a voice says yes you can.
There is vomit in my hair, I haven't gotten a shower today, purple crayon needs cleaned off the wall, there is clutter everywhere, why is there glitter on the dog?, how can I get dinner ready? I can't do this anymore. Then a voice says yes you can.
I am sitting on the floor of Target with a child who is thrashing, screaming and calling me names. I can't do this anymore. Abandon the cart, Abandon the cart. Then a voice says yes you can.
Stop fighting over one Lego. One stupid Lego. Screaming "It's one Fricken Lego!!!!" Ugh, I can't do this anymore. Then a voice says yes you can.
"He has more presents than me, you like him more, why can't I have one?" Whine, whine, whine. I can't do this anymore. Then a voice says yes you can.
"Mom, I'm gonna die, she's in love with someone else. Why did she say she'd be mine forever? I'm never dating again mom, she broke me heart." Now, my heart is breaking because my baby's is aching. I can't do this anymore. Then a voice says yes you can.
Drivers license in hand, what if he gets in an accident, what if he gets a ticket, it's 11:12pm, he was suppose to be home 12 min ago. What is he doing? I can't do this anymore. Then a voice says yes you can.
Didn't get into first college choice despite great grades, application after application, FAFSA forms, scholarships, fee after fee, saving and saving. I can't do this anymore. Then a voice says yes you can.
1997, first time mom
Yet after 18 years, you did it!! Yes you could and you did!! Although the days will come when your heart is aching and you look out the window in the silence missing them so saying I can't do this anymore. Yes You Can and so will they.
Linking up with Andrea and Erika for the Let's Talk Series // Thoughts for Thursday
xoxo
Linking up with Andrea and Erika for the Let's Talk Series // Thoughts for Thursday
xoxo
