LOSING DAISY

With tear stained eyes and a body with no tears left to cry, I’m going to get through this the best I can about the loss of our precious pup, Daisy Mae! On Wednesday, July 31, our sweet little “sis” as we often called her, went to be with the Angels. I truly have so much to say about it but I’m having a hard time getting the words out so I will share with you what my heart can right now. Sharing this gives me some solace. 

First of all, can I say, grief is such a lonely lonely thing! No one grieves the same way and when you feel like you can’t fully express yourself, the loneliness is debilitating. My heart aches that my family is not grieving the same way I am, but again, I live in a house full of men and I guess it’s just what they have to do! The boys are all heading back to college and I dread the empty house. Maybe I need to get a job, LOL!

From the time she was a pup, she was the sweetest soul! Never once did she leave her boundaries, always told us what she needed was so quiet and so loving, such a good girl as we always said. 

2 months old


4 months old

She was the heart and soul of our family. She was lucky to have us and we were so lucky to have her!

Daisy healed up so many holes in our heart. Some we didn’t even know were still there. 

At Grandma's and ready for the 4th of July!!

Daisy loved so many things. She loved her doggy bed, daddy rubbing her belly, she absolutely adored the snow and LOVED to roll around in it! She loved laying in the grass with the wind in her hair. She had favorite treats and she especially loved all kinds of berries and pizza. She loved her brothers, her grandma and her mommy and daddy so much!

Of course she was getting old, but on a vet visit in April, despite having a mouth infection and going on anabiotic‘s, the vet thought that she had quite a lot of time left because she looked so good for her age. We noticed her eating habits had changed just a little bit but we attributed it to old age. We would have to try different foods and find ones that she seem to enjoy. However, that Sunday she stopped eating completely and before bed, let out a cry that I knew was different and I stayed up with her the entire night until I could get her to the vets the next day. She had lost several pounds and after a major blood panel it was determined that she was in 99% kidney failure, the worst they had ever seen. We knew after her major surgery 2 1/2 years ago which thankfully gave us 2 1/2 more wonderful years with her, that her pancreas was also declining but it has wasn’t anything alarming back then. I knew the minute the sweet vet walked back in what the decision would be. However, we didn’t want to tell the kids yet, especially because one of our sons was to have a college summer course final that was very important that Wednesday morning. We knew there was no way he could take this test if he knew and later he told us he was grateful and got an A on the test! Plus, to be honest, I just wanted some time with my sweet girl. So they made her comfortable and we took her home. However, she was never able to sleep the next two nights and I had to hold her in my arms and try and find different ways to get comfortable, all the while giving her syringes of water, anti-nausea and pain medications. 
One of our sons was able to capture this photo with my girl an hour before we took her.
I wore blue and yellow because these are two colors dogs can actually see and I wanted her to see her mama!

We sat in the cold room and each held her saying our goodbyes. 

Wrapped in pink towel, I held her as the vet slowly helped her slip away. I told her it was a joy to be her mama and we loved her so much. I felt her body go limp and she was gone. We sat with her for a bit as I didn’t want to let her go. Everyone at the vets office was compassionate and caring every step of the way.

Devastated, we returned home and all I wanted to do was go to sleep so I didn’t have to think about it anymore and I was absolutely exhausted from all those hours awake. (79 hours straight) but we noticed there was a very large package on the porch and I saw it was the console table that wasn’t due to arrive until Friday. What makes this special and I believe, a sign from above, is that there was a note attached to it in a plastic bag that said “thank you just wasn’t enough” with a doggy in a dog bed on it. If you knew about Daisy, you know her dog bed was kind of a big deal. And I know it was her saying thank you just wasn’t enough for not only putting her out of her misery but for taking such good care of her all these years. 

1st time in "her bed"

Like I said, the vets office was nothing short of extraordinary as we have come to know many of them personally through the years. They called me a week later to pick up her remains. The crematory had found a sweet little wood box with flowers that look like daisies on top and I took the vets office flowers with an arrangement where I found a big yellow Gerbera daisy to thank them for all their comfort and support. They even sent a card with special messages from all the staff about Daisy including the Dr's. 
A huge thank you to all my family and friends that have been so sweet and comforting as well, especially my mom, who often took care of her on our trips and is grieving as well. Daisy is now back home with us and that gives me some comfort.

Pets love you even when you don’t love yourself. 

Give them every bit of love you can because that’s the only thing they know how to give to us, pure unconditional love and joy!

I know the year's first snowfall will be from 
you Sweet Daisy! I Love you!

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xo