Living on Cloud Nine

ONLY.....SO LONELY

"Her name is Heather and she is my new baby sister", I announced to my first grade classmates.

But the truth was I didn't have a baby sister, a lie that was humiliatingly revealed when my mom showed up for parent teacher conferences the next evening.

Mrs. Sullivan, noticing my mother's flat stomach, threw mom for a loop when she said, "I'm surprised you're out and about already." "Huh", my mom replied. "But didn't you just have a baby? Andrea announced to the class she has a new baby sister!"

First Grade Photo

If only....

My mother was shocked despite Mrs. Sullivan assuring her that kids make up stuff like that all the time.

The truth was, even at the young age of seven, I desperately wanted sister, or even a brother for that matter.

I was an only child. While very much loved and cherished, still I was alone. To this day, I wished baby Heather had been real.

My parents have known, since my desperate attempt at an expanded family, that I wanted a sibling. It simply wasn't in the cards for my parents. Yet, I still tried. To my mom I would ask; "Are you sure you didn't give up a baby for adoption?" To my dad; "Are you sure no one is going to show up on our doorstep and call you Dad?"

My sweet mom when asked why she only had one child will say, "Well, when you get it perfect the first time, why try again?" Plus she makes it known when the stereotypical "only children are spoiled" topic comes up, that I was definitely NOT a spoiled brat. Yes, they only had one to buy for and devote time to, but it was done so with lessons of giving and compassion. Genuine "Thank You's" were taught to me very early and to this day, I'd rather be the giver. For the things I do receive, I am grateful and have never once felt entitled .

While growing up, no one can deny the advantages of being an only child. My own room decorated the way I want, my parents undivided attention and a doggie I didn't have to share. Yet, I couldn't help but ache a little when witnessing my friends and their sibling camaraderie or their shared family memories.

The only child life didn't bother me as much in high school and college. Friends, dating and activities kept me busy. I'd become attached to a best friend like a sister. It was when that chapter of my life started to fade that the yearning for a sibling grew stronger.

Who's to say as an adult, I would even share a close bond with a sibling? However I do see friends bond deeper with their siblings over life experiences and I think about the future. I fell guilt because I worry about my parents own loneliness.

While I may not have a sibling bond, what I do have is an amazingly close relationship with my mother. She is my closest confidant, my partner in crime, my dearest friend and her concentrated love lifts me up. People even ask us if we are sisters. If only we were, I think, because then the inevitable might not be so bad if I knew I had fifty more years with her.

As I age into mid-life, the idea of facing my parents mortality alone is frightening. I think the cruelest is that when your parents die, you have no one left to share your childhood memories with, no one to say "Remember the last Christmas you believed in Santa?" Or "Remember making snow ice cream?" There's no one left to remember.....only you.............

My first Christmas 1971, Aren't my parents gorgeous!!

I am an only child but this factor does not define me. I'm blessed with a healthy mother and father whom I am close to, blessed with a husband and children who we create memories with. My parents taught me to be thoughtful, considerate, organized, and loyal. My sense and duty and responsibility to my parents runs deep.

While I'll always wish baby Heather was real, and at times feel like a lonely-only, I'll focus on what I do have and be ever so grateful for that!!

xoxo

"When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone."

~TENNESSEE WILLIAMS

SEA SALT CARAMEL OATMEAL BARS

Sometimes a cookie or bar recipe comes along that just blows you and your diet away!! LOL. This IS that bar! I have often wanted to make Carmelitas but felt they need something else. Here is where the sea salt comes in. Oh man, gives them just that kick and crunch. These are so easy and word of advice: I know you will want to eat them soon after coming out if the oven. W.A.I.T til the next day or after they have been in the fridge at least 8 hours. Yes, we were amazed that night when I cut into a corner after cooling about an hour, but the next morning out of the fridge and into my mouth, I actually yelled "Wow, even 10x's better!"

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!! Yum

INGREDIENTS

Kraft caramel bits or 35 unwrapped caramel squares

1/2 cup heavy cream

1/2 tsp. course sea salt, divided

3/4 cup butter, melted (1 1/2 sticks, salted or unsalted)
3/ 4 cup light brown sugar, packed
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 cup whole-rolled old fashioned quick oats

1 cup milk chocolate chips or chunks (I used Ghirardelli chips)

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 350F. Line an 8×8-inch pan with aluminum foil and spray with cooking spray. Lining your pan is highly recommended for ease of cleanup due to the stickiness of the caramel; set pan aside.
Combine caramels and cream in a medium saucepan, and heat over medium-low heat to melt, stirring nearly continuously, until mixture can be stirred smooth. Stir in 1/4 tsp. sea salt, Set aside.
In a large microwave-safe mixing bowl, add the butter and heat on high power to melt, about 90 seconds.
Add the brown sugar, vanilla, and whisk until smooth.
Add the flour, oats, baking soda, 1/4 tsp sea salt, and stir until combined. Mixture will be quite thick.
Add half of the mixture to the prepared pan, and smooth it with spatula or the back of a spoon, to create an even, smooth, flat layer; set remainder aside.
Bake for 10 minutes.
Remove pan from the oven and evenly sprinkle with the chocolate chips.
Slowly and evenly pour caramel sauce over the chocolate.
Evenly crumble reserved oatmeal mixture over the top.
Return pan to oven and bake for about 15 to 18 minutes (I baked 16 ), or until edges are lightly browned and center is bubbling slightly.
Bars will seem like they are not done, but trust me, they will be awesome if you let cool for 4 hours, refrigerate at least an hour and then cut into squares. They will keep in the fridge up to a week and can be frozen as well.

The kind of sea salt I used and good ole' Quaker Oats!

LINKING with THE WEEKEND POTLUCK

xoxo

" It's a sin to waste chocolate. It's in the Bible. Ghirardelli 3:17."

~Terri Guillemets

EASTER MADE EASY

FLOWERS & FANNIE MAY CHOCOLATE!!!

These two things will make your Easter easy, gorgeous and so very yummy. For me, you cannot go wrong with Flowers and Chocolate. Yes, there is a lot more that goes along with this precious celebration but give me pretty posies and sweet teats and I'm set!!!!

Here are some great and easy Flower Centerpiece ideas that won't cost much.

Come on.... lemons in a jar, perfect. Of course another great use for mason jars.

Love the simplicity and elegance.

My FAV!! Miss Martha Stewart has done it again!! Stick a inexpensive small flower bunch inside a small glass jar or vase. Put that in a larger clear glass container and fill with small hobby store decorative plastic eggs. Hobby Lobby has bags of these for $1.99

I have been seeing decorative take out containers everywhere. Again, great selection at Hobby Stores and I saw stripped ones yesterday at the Dollar tree! At Christmas I like to buy them to package goodies as love the handles to carry the treats. Stick your tulips in a jar or can and just set down in the container. Easy Peasy.

PEEPS you did it! You managed to make me love you. I do not like your taste but as a centerpiece..true admiration!! Look how easy that is. If you are like me you may save old clear food jars thinking, I may use this someday. Well, there you go, all these clear glass vessels coming in handy. Remember flowers in one smaller jar, stick in another and just arrange a row of peeps!!

Last but not least. These glass vases, cups, pitchers, mugs, etc with chalkboard slates on them are everywhere. Simply write something Easter-ish with chalk and throw in the posies. Good to go!

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Now, to the Yummo Confections of Fannie May.

I love good chocolate with European brands being my favorite but my Mom and I stumbled upon Fannie May years ago while shopping and fell in love with their milk chocolate vanilla buttercreams.
They are such a rich and decadent treat.

I especially love Fannie May at Easter. They box up cream filled eggs, quadruple the size of the regular cream filled chocolates in adorable packaging and they make the cutest little gifts.

Everything you need to fill baskets or create a dessert tower is beautifully packaged at Fannie May and they will wrap and put together things for you.