BLANK PAGE

The page was blank this week. It’s funny, I can stand in the shower or lay in bed at night and the ideas can wash over me like the warm waters on my neck or bamboo sheets against my skin, but to actually sit down and say what am I going to post about on any given Monday, well, that’s another story. Does your mind often race in situations other than sitting in front of the computer, a notepad or the notes on your phone?

 

Lately, the thing I do most when I’m just sitting there, pondering, is rubbing the two dark chin hairs that need plucked sprouted from my exciting and exasperating menopause journey. Lol.

 

As I told you, I have posts about the rigors of aging, part two of that menopause journey, social media opinions, what I’m eating, etc, but I just wasn’t quite ready to share any of those yet. They need twerking ya know! So what would I post today?

I can tell you I have a couple really big topics on my mind, but I’ll never share them on the World Wide Web or Insta, because they affect people, you know what I mean? Things that are really happening in my life, I can’t necessarily spill because I don’t want to hurt anyone or stir it up so to say. Yet, trust me when I say, they are all things that you could probably relate to especially women in this stage of life. And it’s not symptom related like a dry vagina or wanting to claw someone’s eyes out because they looked at you wrong, it’s the hurt in the heart and soul stuff.

 

That heart of mine is heavy and aches a lot lately! But I still try to be the positive, upbeat person that I know God leads me to be to bring smiles and joy to others! But lately I feel like I just got a BIG F in life! I don’t think I ever got an F on any assignment I did in school and failure is something that I seem to deal with quite well. I mean life is all about successes and failures, but in so many realms of my life right now I feel like I’m failing AND flailing. But this quote gave me some peace, your now is not your forever.

I feel like I’m asking the questions. What now? What to do in so many situations. While I always had a goal of becoming a college level professor, to go back to school now seems pointless when I retired early as to get out of the working world. Full-time influencing definitely is not my gig, it’s not for the weak of heart and it’s really so oversaturated. And truly, is giving you a link to a sweatshirt you’ll love really making a difference? Well, maybe a little. LOL! #cozychicrules

I will continue to dabble a little in all aspects of lifestyle influencing and for the relationships that are positive but that’s about it, lol.

I am extremely lucky that I have an amazing provider in Mr. Nine to allow me the opportunity to even ponder these things. Years ago, I wouldn’t have been so lucky, and I know some people have no choice in the profession that they are in. But that doesn’t mean you can’t dream or make changes.

 

Metaphorically and in reality, the sun comes back out even though in much of the country it doesn’t seem like it will in January, but it does. Every season has an expiration date. Even unfortunately, the good ones. I must try my hardest to make the most of each season, whether it’s finding strength in the bad season of life or grasping on tighter to the joys in the good ones.

Life ebbs and flows, and like a mountain hike, we climb out of the valleys and reach peaks when it’s our time.

So now, I set my pen to the paper not to write a post but to brainstorm what is in store for Andrea Nine now? Where can I make a difference? Where is my time BEST suited? Are you asking yourself any of these questions? Do you already know? I guess that’s my post for today. I can tell you this. Our family physician always says when we’re hurting about a situation to write a letter. Whether or not we send it is another thing, but just to write it down. I’m telling you, just writing this blog post of varying words has made me feel better. Thank you for reading, and I hope you have a Marvelous Monday!

Let me know: Have you ever written a letter for feelings sake?

LINKING-UP with Metamorphosis Monday // Thursday Fashion Files // 

Love your Creativity // Hello Monday // Inspire Me Tuesday

xoxo 

WHAT MENOPAUSE HAS TAKEN FROM ME

Oh friends, why is it that women do not talk about menopause? It is such an ordeal and in my guesstimation I feel like it is for many, yet no one talks about it enough. Why aren’t we helping each other? I feel so alone in this journey, yet every single woman who reaches a certain age, has gone through it! The menopause journey needs to be addressed more! I’ll try to tackle a little of it with humor because I just must before I go insane, lol.

I knew that when I had my hysterectomy and had everything removed, except for my cervix, that I would immediately go into menopause, I was already on my way there with my periods being quite far apart, but my symptoms were not horrible. They weren’t even horrible for the first few months after my surgery. Heck, taking that uterus, cysts, and endometriosis out, I even lost 5lbs cause that’s how much I think it all weighed, lol! However, one of the reasons I was so scared of surgery was because I felt like the procedure and the menopause journey would age me and age me quickly, and boy has it ever! However, more than that, I feel like it has robbed and taken so many things from me as a woman! And I will NOT sugar coat it or hold back! You need the truth!

 

Who is this person who is inhabiting my body, my vagina, my mind? I don’t know her, and I don’t really like her! LOL

 

 

This is a list of the thing’s menopause has taken from me.

~my hair…it’s now brittle and coarse, more so than just hair color damage

~my skin…dry and dull and I never had problems with that before.

~my mood…irritable as hell yes not h.e.double.hockey sticks but HELL and I’m not normally an irritable person

~my personality…yeah that’s a lil drastic and goes along with mood but I’m not as happy go lucky and I find myself not caring about shizzzz!

~my sleep…this was bad peri menopause but hello 2am-5am, I see you!

~my boobs, OK this isn’t really menopause related but age related, but my small size B perky boobs are now often found under my under arms, lol

~my VAGINA..no joke folks, I don’t know her! Dry, different and get this, I think the outer lips to my vagina have gone from firm to saggy too. WTH?

~my libido…this went downhill about 6 months post op! Now the cream I’ll mention later does help and it’s all ok in that department…k…S.E.X BUT it’s still not the libido I used to know.

~my brain…menopause fog is real

~my energy…she who was the energizer bunny is now the traumatized turtle!

 

AND to top it all off, I’m growing a beard and by that, I mean 2 dark course chin hairs it took giant tweezers to remove, lol.

Yeah, they should call it "Man"opause because sometimes I have to put my man on pause if you know what I mean!

I asked the doctor, without hormone replacement, how do I get through this, and he said you just do. Which is true and which is what my mom and other women have said, but I don’t want to feel like complete crap the whole time while I’m getting through it. The length of time a woman is in menopause varies greatly; it could even be for years.

 

Here’s what I’m doing to help. At times I don’t feel like any of it is working, but I can only imagine where I would be without doing these things primarily which are beneficial to my health anyway.

~Using topical estrogen and testosterone creams prescribed by my GYN

~Exercising daily

~Eating whole foods, cutting back on all the whites like flour, sugar and dairy and eliminating a lot of gluten

~In addition to my vitamins, I take an all-natural supplement called Vitex Chaste Tree (get it HERE) which I feel helps with symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats. STRONGLY RECOMMEND THIS!

I’m definitely not here for a pity party. What I am here for is to tell you you’re not alone and get all this off my mind to help in this journey. Whether you are going through menopause, getting close, have been through it, or will one day I think the majority of us can relate how much it changes us.  

How we had no idea what we were in for.

This is a safe space. Menopause is NOT Taboo, it needs to be talked about! What is your experience with menopause, years leading up to it or post menopause? Has anything helped you? 

 

Stay COOL, lol.

 LINKING-UP with Style on the Daily // Metamorphosis Monday // Thursday Fashion Files // 

Love your Creativity // Hello Monday // Inspire Me Tuesday

xoxo

DOUBLE SURGERIES...6 Months Post-Op

Isn’t it crazy it’s been six months since my double surgeries? Yep, on September 29 last year I had not only a supracervical hysterectomy but an umbilical hernia repair done at the same time! That’s right friends, two-for-one!

 

I never really went into detail here on the blog about it, just noted that I was having it done and needed your prayers. Many of you were there for me on social media, here on the blog and in life; so encouraging and so uplifting because I’m not gonna lie, I was overwhelmingly scared for the surgery as I’ve never actually been cut on before, lol! I'd been under anesthesia before but not under the "Knife" so to speak. Since I needed both procedures done, it did make perfect sense to have them done at the same time, not only saving money but not having to be under anesthesia twice as well. 

And backstory, the hernia itself was not too bad but it did make sense to repair it as I could sometimes feel it. The hysterectomy was recommended because of a calcified cyst and the fear that that could become cancerous. I had had some cysts that went away on the other ovary but since I was so close to menopause, it just made sense to take it all. Then, when he got in there he found I also had some endometriosis. I had to laugh because even at 50, it did cross my mind: "but what if I wanted to have another child or carry one for one of my kids," lol! What was I thinking? Ha!

 

The good news is I survived, lol! The other good news is that I’m doing great despite the initial struggles I had post op; so not with the hysterectomy but with the umbilical hernia repair.

 First, let me note about the hysterectomy, it was done by Dr. who I call friend and had a great relationship with when I worked at the hospital. He put all my fears at ease, and he was so amazing, even when I changed my mind that I didn’t want a full hysterectomy, wanted to keep my cervix so they call that a supracervical. That meant he had to make an extra incision a few inches below my belly button and of the four incisions, that is the only one that is still a little bit visible but no one will see it but me and Mr. Nine, lol!

My Surgeons

 Let’s talk about the umbilical hernia repair. It was supposed to be done laparoscopically and also done by one of my favorite surgeons from my time at the hospital. However, somewhat last minute he was not going to be available on the day surgery was scheduled, so his partner stepped in who happened to be the Surgical Director so I knew I was in good hands. However, it was failed to communicate to me that it would be an open hernia repair and NOT laparoscopic which meant a larger incision. This was all thrown upon me five minutes before I was wheeled into the operating room so you can imagine my fear.

 

I was under anesthesia for more than three hours and because of all this, that meant an overnight stay in the hospital. I originally did not want that to happen, but I ended up being overwhelmingly appreciative that I could stay the night and get the care I needed. One note about anesthesia, I have gotten sick under anesthesia before in the past, heck I had even gotten sick after my colonoscopy a few weeks prior to the surgery but the good news is I had an anesthesiologist who I also knew and he made sure that you didn’t. I’m proud to say no nausea or vomiting which would’ve been excruciating with my incision. The surgery was done at the hospital I had worked at for 18 years and everyone was absolutely fabulous. My GYN made sure I got a private room on the mother baby floor so that I would get better care and not be subjected to Covid patients.

One of the few times readers will see me sans makeup

My View for that night

The next few days are kind of a blur other than the fact that it was excruciating every time I got up and down from that darn hernia incision. The hysterectomy portion was a breeze other than my emotions were all over the place and I had a couple days where I cried the entire day. A weighted blanket on the area and ice packs were my best friend! I made sure I did my breathing exercises in the apparatus they gave me as to not get post-op pneumonia. I never knew about that before which is odd. But hey, it works for your lungs! And I lived in nightgowns like this!

5 days Post-op and a lil makeup back on, lol

 

I had post-op appointments the following week and even my GYN was a little upset that I was not told about the open hernia repair. The Hernia Surgeon thought that I knew and said it was the only way he could repair it right. Boy was my belly button ever scary to look at! But now, I must say it’s not looking too bad! Maybe there will still be bikinis in our backyard pool, LOL!

Comfy yet stylish post-op Dr. Appt. outfit, lol

You know that I was not gonna let this surgery take me down so by day 5, my mom and I did a lap around the pond and within a week or two I was back to walking 3 miles. I didn’t do any aerobics or weightlifting but the cardio was all I needed to stay in the shape I was. I lost 5 pounds after surgery probably due to the fact that they also found endometriosis in addition to the cyst but I said put that back on, lol!

At one month post-op, Mr. Nine and I went on a day date and I was finally able to wear jeans again!

1 month post-op Day Date

Liverpool Jeans HERE

Anyway, the only thing I’m still struggling with post surgery is whether or not to take estrogen or as you may know it as hormone replacement therapy. Since my uterus is gone I only need estrogen and there are pros and cons of taking it. I know women that have and felt really good, my nurse practitioner of 30 years said that she recommends it but I also worry about the risk of breast cancer. So, if you have any info on this for me let me know. I do use a vaginal estrogen cream which helps that situation and I’m just wondering if I’m going about life feeling good when I could be feeling GREAT taking the estrogen?

 

One more thing I’d like to note, what a blessing my mom and husband were during this time. My mom stayed with us for the first week and took such good care of me, and Mr. Nine too, making us wonderful meals of all my favorite things. She was a godsend and Mr. Nine, so understanding and loving. I literally could not have done it without them. 2021 was definitely NOT our year but I survived and healed and 2022 is looking better..I think, lol.

And thanks to many of you for the cards, flowers and love!!

This GLASS

 from my friend Angie..it was one of my funniest Get Well Gifts

Happy Fresh Week

 LINKING-UP with Metamorphosis Monday// Love your Creativity // Hello Monday  // Inspire Me Tuesday 

xoxo