DEAR CLASS OF 2020...I'M SO SORRY

I’ve changed up several of my Blog Posts because during these uncertain times, I feel we are all searching for more meaning and need to read some powerful encouragement. Today, I was going to share a Birthday Wish List, and I was so excited about it, but I’ve come to realize that my birthday next week is pretty much canceled, and I will pull up my big girl panties and just deal with it. By the way, I absolutely hate that saying, “big girl panties!” LOL.

While I can deal with not really having a birthday celebration, something that is really hurting my heart is that two of our sons would’ve been graduating this May, one respectively from IU and the other from Purdue and now we’ll never see them walk across the stage, we may not get pictures in their caps and gowns by the respected University monuments and my heart is breaking. I think the kid’s hearts are breaking even more to have their school career come to abrupt end! So....

Dear Class of 2020,
College and High School Seniors, I see you and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. 2 of the millions of you are my family, my boys; I long to see you walk across the stage and get that coveted diploma after four years of very very hard work! Just like many college and High school seniors across the country, you will not be returning to campus after spring break, or ever. Many of you left for the weekend or spring break not realizing that it would be your last day in class as a student at your respective university or high school.

I know it feels like you’ve lost so much so quickly, it does for us parents as well. It’s going to take time and painful pondering to assess the situation and what it means for you. First of all, I want to tell you it’s OK to mourn this loss!  I vividly remember the last weeks of my senior years and they were some of the best of my life! You’ve lost that and I’m so sorry! For you college kids and especially mine, I taught you to be huggers, I saw the tears in your eyes when you said you wouldn’t get to hug your friends goodbye. You’ve lost late nights at college bars, just chilling with your closest friends, and senior events that were meant to celebrate each other and your college careers.

To the high school seniors like our nephew, if you don’t get to go back at all, I’m sorry! You may miss Senior Spring Break, or you won’t put on that beautiful gown or tuxedo and be proud and look sharp dressed to the nines! I’m sorry you won’t get to attend the awards banquet or superlative ceremony and laugh and clap. I’m sorry if your athletic season was cut short. And most of all, I’m sorry you might not get to walk across the stage. In a way, high school graduation is even more important than college and I know that, and I know you might not get to have graduation open house parties or celebrate with your friends.

To all you college seniors who are not going on to grad school, this abrupt end is bitter and cold and hard! To have to move everything out of your apartments or dorms so quickly adds to the pain! To not be able to sit in lecture halls or work in the department labs makes learning so much more difficult! Many college resources are no longer available, there’s no going to library or studying in the quad. You are pretty much on your own with your laptop for the next 7 weeks and praying that the professors give some leniency because let’s face it, online classes can be tough when you are a hands-on learner! All you do know is that you have degrees to complete, but you worry, will they be completed on time? Will they mail me that diploma?

I remember senioritis and I bet you all were really starting to come down with it. You probably swore you were ready to graduate and start your lives. But now, you realize that you may not be ready. In a way, it feels like the rest of your adolescence was stolen from you two months too soon.

Above all, what we all really lost, including parents, was closure. You kids lost that feeling of closing this chapter in your lives in a way that feels meaningful, surrounded by your friends. You lost that feeling of walking out of your last final and feeling such a sense of completion and pride. You lost so much to a situation that is completely out of your hands.

This situation is truly surreal. For many of you, it is the first major world event in your lives. You will talk about Covid-19 for years; a story that you will tell your children and grandchildren. And still, none of us have any idea when this will end. People are crazy, they are scared, everyone is in a panic. Some of your peers are not taking this seriously. My generation and the generation of your grandparents did what we were told. Please don’t be one of the entitled kids, please don’t think you are invincible and please don’t be selfish! Remember what we, as parents, have taught you and do the right thing!

We can’t do anything about the decisions to best serve our country. We just have to figure out how to move on from here. The unknown is scary and hard, but I think we can all take comfort in knowing that we are all in this together. Don’t let this dull your spark and your light. Your future is still bright, and you will do great things in this world, it’s just going to take a little longer until we can forge forward! But just like I always, always tell my son‘s, it WILL all work out!! And if you don’t hear it; CONGRATULATIONS on Graduating! I’m so Proud of You!

This photo is cute yet OH SO SAD!!

xoxo

50 comments:

  1. Hi Andrea, I get your saddness. It's a very crazy time. Hard for everyone, especially people who have milestone(s) in their lives and can't celebrate. Maybe all of this can be delayed. Or can be done virtually, somehow, via a video-conference. I'm just giving ideas, hope you don't mind.

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  2. Oh I am so sorry for you and your boys Andrea- so so sad. Thank you for sharing- will be thinking of you all XO

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  3. I am so sorry that your kids are going to be missing out on this monumentous day and likewise you wont get to witness them crossing that stage to get something they have worked so hard for. This is truly a surreal time and I wish I had better words to tell you how sorry I am....Hugs to you! xo, Biana

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  4. Such a beautiful letter, so sad for the class of 2020! There is so much these kids were looking forward to that was taken away from them.

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  5. This breaks my heart. They HAVE to come up with something. So sad.
    I was thinking the other day when I saw people posting mean things about these kids taking spring break and enjoying themselves during this time. I have to say, I would be doing it too! They do not think like us. They are just wanting to live life to the fullest. Especially now that most of there fun has been stripped away from them.
    Hugs
    Lisa

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  6. This is beautifully written! I'm so sorry your boys are missing out on their last college memories and walking across the stage to get their diplomas they have worked so hard for. Sending you a big hug!

    Jill - Doused in Pink

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  7. Andrea I'm so sad for you and your boys. Sending you lots of love and virtual hugs!

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  8. It really is so heartbreaking to think about! Between the graduations and the weddings and the trips that people had to cancel. I'm so sorry to hear that your sons will be so directly impacted! Sending lots of love to you guys!

    Rosy Outlook 

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  9. It truly is so sad to think about how things ended so abruptly and what they will be missing. Just heartbreaking!

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  10. Thank you for sharing what I've been feeling. My son's high school graduation and prom hasn't been cancelled yet but I think it's coming. You have such a big heart and thank you for sharing the love. XO

    https://www.kathrineeldridge.com

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  11. I am so sorry they will not get a proper send off like they deserve. One of my favorite things every year is a last hurrah with the Delta Gamma seniors at Loyola and welcoming them to adulthood. I am going to have to do something like this for them. You should make a graduation at home for them. Sorry your birthday celebrations are canceled. Have a great day!

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  12. Andrea I am so sorry and sad for you and the boys. It's such a terrible thing we are all going through and hope you all stay safe and be well. Sending all of you huge hugs.

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  13. Ohhhh, this letter made me so sad but was so sweet of you to write! I'm so sorry for you and your boys and all the others! :(

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  14. This made me so sad- I can only imagine for your family. If it weren’t for you, I would not have thought of this situation at all...but it is huge. What a major disappointment after all the hat hard work. What is going to happen now?? I’m with you- and not much for say can make it better..but just believe that there must be a plan!! Sending you hugs- Lucy (Lucybertoldi)

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  15. This is so heartbreaking. I wish this wasn’t happening. Prayers for all.

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  16. There are so many disappointments in this season! Congratulations to your boys on this big accomplishment and I hope and pray they get to celebrate it in a special way soon!
    xo
    Amanda @ Cupcake N Dreams 

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  17. Sending all the hugs to your sweet family, I can't even imagine how hard this is on the graduating seniors. I had to make a run down the road this morning, and was amazed at how many cars are still on the road. If people would just stay home we'd get through this so much quicker. <3

    Green Fashionista

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  18. This made me cry. I am so sorry for your boys & your nephew!

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    1. So true and so sad for these kids....it’s heart breaking. Thanks for sharing this - and congratulations to your sweet boys...and to you and Mr Nine! ��

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  19. It is so sad. I hope they find a way to give the seniors some sort of celebration after this is all over. It is definitely a crazy time that is taking a lot away from so many.

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  20. It's such an unsettling time. Your thoughts and encouragement to your sons and to all of the 2020 graduates are lovely, Andrea. While my daughter graduated from college a number of years ago, she is currently in her last semester for her Master's degree. In many ways and for many reasons, this milestone is the most important one for her. I'm sad for her, for your sons, and for all of the graduates at all levels that are facing this loss. While we can all see the larger picture and how it's the right measure to take, we all still feel so sad for them. Planning on forging ahead is a wonderful mindset.

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  21. I feel so sad for all of the graduating classes. My two cousins are supposed to graduate this May. One from HS and one from college. The college one has been cancelled so far. The HS one hasn't yet, but I am sure it will. I feel so bad for them.

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  22. I'm so sorry to you and your entire family, sweet friend <3 My oldest is a high school senior. Last week we cancelled her grad party as the date we'd reserved the venue for is during the time frame when we aren't to gather with more than 10 people. It sure isn't easy when we make plans and take for granted that things will go as we expect. (I wrote a blog post last week about how that's been playing out in many ways in our life in this time.) While it's hard to find "the right words" in times like this, I want you to know that I love you, I'm praying for you, and that while it's becoming increasingly more clear that we are not in control - God is, and I pray we will seek Him as He alone can offer us true peace that surpasses all understanding. Sending you the biggest virtual hug! <3

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  23. Such a loss for the kids and something they will remember all their lives. You are so sweet and thoughtful. Also, I hope you are still able to find a fun way to celebrate your birthday next week. Maybe fun takeout with your sweet Mr. Nine.

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

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  24. I just hate that we won't get to see them "walk", but I do keep saying, "Oh the story they have to tell". Your birthday is definitely not cancelled. Delayed...maybe. But not cancelled. Love you!!!

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  25. This is beautiful Andrea! 💗 Thanks for putting this out there for all of us! Take care and Happy Birthday!

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  26. The lack of closure is really tough. Thanks for writing this. We are still hopeful that the high school will hold a graduation ceremony!

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  27. My heart breaks for my niece set to graduate High School. Friends who's kids were set to graduate from Fresno State. My nephews baseball career came to an abrupt end at UCLA and this is his draft year. I am so thankful I got to see him pitch over 2 weeks ago. So grateful! Congratulations to your sons on all their achievements. They will go on and have amazing careers and this year will have that * by it forever more. Bless them all. XO hugs my friend. Great job to you and Mr NIne for raising such amazing young men!

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  28. This is so sweet, Andrea, and I feel it. There's such a hollowness to the victory of graduation, I imagine. Honestly, there's a hollowness to a lot of life right now. I think people need to remember it's okay not to be okay. I've felt so silly about my sadness having to cancel Mieke's first birthday party last week, then I came to terms with the fact that it's okay to be sad. <3

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  29. Precious words and so well spoken. I love your heart!

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  30. Tears. Tears streaming down my face. Gives me so much insight into how you are feeling and how petty my problems truly are. But I loved the picture of one of your handsome graduates today and I know that there will come a day when you can do the same for the other cutie, too! One thing about this disease, it has left it's mark on all of us and we will never forget 2020! I love you and thank you so much for sharing your heart with all of us.

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  31. You have such a strong soul Andrea. Which I'm sure you've passed down to your boys. It is so heart wrenching along with the funerals and weddings not happening.
    Big hugs!!
    XOOX
    Jodie
    www.jtouchofstyle.com

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  32. As sad as this post is...I DID chuckle at the class graduation picture, so thank you for ending it on a funny note :) It's all SO sad; weddings, showers, graduations, family get togethers, vacations, funerals...the list just goes on and on. I know when this is all over you guys will have the brightest and best celebration!.. xo

    Shauna

    www.lipglossandlace.net

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  33. Hi Andrea, It's me, Laura in CO.
    I had a crazy day, but was set on reading this post you mentioned in our emails (which I loved).
    This is what I think: make this the most memorable graduation season that you can give your boys. And, by memorable I mean funny, laugh out loud crazy mom ideas ... that they won't remember the sadness your boys will remember their mom doing what mom's do best! We make stuff happen and we make lemonade out of lemons. I know it stinks. But just picking up your vibe I think you are going to come up with some fun ideas. And, just ask and I bet you get a slew of great ways to make this semester memorable.
    Okay, I had a rush of adrenaline to fix it.
    You will find a way to celebrate and maybe its in September. Are you boys heading to grad school or job offers? I think my boys are still in shock they are here at home + every ski resort is closed. hugs! laura

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  34. There are so many people who are missing out more than we are right now like the seniors in high school and college! My kids are just missing out on a few weeks of school and my hubby is just working from home. We are lucky! My heart hurts for those people missing out on milestones and memories like you mentioned!

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  35. Yes, it is sad that most seniors will have their proms cancelled and graduate through the mail. Putting some perspective on it, when I was a kid, from 1964 through at least 1970, far too many of our 18 year old guys spent the rest of their graduation year in Vietnam. Far too many never made it back home. So yes, the seniors this year might have to sacrifice their senior prom, parties and graduation, but at least they'll have a chance to reschedule or postpone for another time. And this too, shall pass.

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  36. It is horrible! So many disappointing things in all lives around the world. It s hard to Stay positive but we need to!

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  37. Not knowing when this will end and living with all of the uncertainty surely adds to a long list of feelings. My heart breaks for the seniors. I do hope that there will be way to hold these ceremonies but not knowing when it will be safe to do so adds to the frustration. Nothing can give these students back what they have lost and that is the innocence of doing something so simple and so common - prom, end of year banquets, celebrations, graduation, etc. It is heartbreaking! Hugs my friend!
    xo,
    Kellyann

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  38. So heartfelt and true! It is heartbreaking!

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  39. These are truly unprecedented times- and it's SO SAD for the seniors. I can't imagine being in their shoes and not getting to experience those life-changing, monumental moments. Yes, we all have to shelter in place/social distance to slow the spread, but we can still send all the love to these guys and girls who have been robbed of milestone markers. :(

    Sending all my love to you, too, soon-to-be-birthday girl!

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

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  40. Thank you Andrea. I love that you thought of how this. It is true. Those last few weeks around school were so full of hope, promise and goofing off! Praying for the class of 2020 that God will restore what has been taken in ways they never would have expected! hugs my friend.

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  41. I could not have said it better Andrea. My Son is/was graduating from 8th grade.
    It is sad but yes it will all work out. Things will be ok in the long run but will take time. There is a rainbow waiting for all of us.

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  42. I don't think the weight of it has really sunk in for Dill yet. Maybe because he is still very optimistic they will got back or maybe as a guy he just doesn't really grasp yet the memories he's missing. So sorry for your momma heart and your boys!

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  43. Such strange and hard times for us all. I do hope things aren't too bad for you and the family. Fingers crossed this is over and back to normal very soon. Jacqui x

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  44. My heart breaks for the Seniors in high school. They really are going ot miss big milestone moments... cant even begin to imagine.
    I hate my niece is missing out on her tennis season - but at least she has 3 more years to do it.

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  45. It's sad and frustrating what is happening around the world right now. It's like we're going through a long, pitch black dark tunnel, with no end in sight. I just hope and pray that this will be over soon. Keep safe dear!

    Jessica | notjessfashion.com

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  46. I agree that it is so sad that these Seniors are having to miss out on all the celebratory moments to mark their accomplishments. :( Sorry that you won't get to see your sons walk across that stage when they were supposed to. So many hard things right now. But I do look forward to the new ways that we'll learn to celebrate after this is over. Hope you have a wonderful birthday even though it will look like no other you've had before!

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  47. Oh Andrea, I am crying reading this. So heartbreaking but you hit the nail on the head when you said that about closure. I am so very sorry. Love to all of you and I hope you are still able to get the things on your wish list, sweet friend. xoxo Sha

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  48. Such a heartfelt letter. I'm so sorry for these milestone moments won't be celebrated the way they should be. It breaks my heart to know so many things have changed in such short amount of time. May your boys always know their hard work and great accomplishments are still valid moments.

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  49. Thanks for linking up with me today! And I am so sorry for what your sons are experiencing. I can just imagine the heartbreak they feel and that you feel. I know so many who are hurting because of this. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

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