WHY WE LOVE RAISING TEEN BOYS

Ah, a life without pink.
Yes, we wished for a princess in
the family mix, but ya know what?
We're okay with it.
In fact, we LOVE raising boys, 3 teenage boys at that!

Sons and daughters are equally wonderful. Some things about boys are easier. Some things about girls are easier. Those of you that have at least one of each can probably attest to that.

 I can only tell you why we love raising these particular boys. This was one of my favorite posts but was before many of you awesome readers came along so I updated it a bit.
Maybe you can relate.

 1. WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET
No drama, very little manipulating, no hidden agendas. They seem to get over disappointment quickly. I remember crying and moping for hours when I broke up with a guy or someone hurt my feelings. These boys "bounce"!! We help them pick up their heart, feed em' something good and move on down the road. There is no sugar coating their thoughts and feelings. They "tell it like it is!" If they have to go to the bathroom, it's 

"I gotta go poop!"

2. THEIR RELATIONSHIP AS BROTHERS
These guys have each others backs!!! Occasionally we'll hear a little disagreement but they always work it out. Their conversations when they don't know we are listening are divine. They help each other with homework, go out to breakfast, talk "girls", support each others activities and truly care about each other. My hope is that they will have each others backs......always.
Their tenderhearted loyalty to each other is heart warming.

  

Sweet little beach boyzzz

 3. WE ARE RAISING FUTURE HUSBANDS
We've realized that in raising boys, we are raising future husbands.

We try to explain how to treat a lady. Tell them they will be a team and to assist their wives. I especially appreciate when they hang all the outside Christmas decorations and my husband loves the help too. We tell them how much their future wife will appreciate the little things like this. When they ask if they can cook dinner, which is rare, I do let them jump on it because I know how much a lady would love to have a meal cooked for her. My husband and I show our own love and affection to each other so that they learn to acknowledge their feelings and are well equipped to express them. We want them to take responsibility for their actions, to value compassion and live it daily. These are the boys who will grow into men who'll make loving companions. That's good for the women they marry. Even better for the men they become.

 4. THEY LOVE MY COOKING
Yeah, the reason why they don't ask to cook is because they say I am a great one. Sweet, yes. I know it seems like a small thing, but some of our best family talks are around the dinner table. If the way to a mans heart is through his stomach, so be it for boys too! For some reason, good, home cooked food makes boys want to please you. If I make a special favorite, like say a Reese Peanut Butter Cake,  Recipe Here they're at your beck and call. When they say "my mom makes the BEST cookies" or "your Ham Chowder is soooooo good", I swoon with pride knowing I am satiating their little bellies.

Look how little, Mother's Day 2010
(Not responsible for the youngest botched haircut #newbeautician #amishboycut)

5. THEY ARE INVENTORS
These boys are on pretty strong paths with what they want to be in the future and I think that drive boils over to the urge to invent things. We love it that they are creative minds at work and not always in front of a TV. They used to be riggers and rig up stuff in the house to scare me, like dropping fake spiders or turning the facet on so the spray wand sprays me in the face. Ha! Now that they're older they've moved onto things like Tesla coils and magnetic stirrers. Patent please! The two older ones may even take Entrepreneurship classes in College. 

6. THEY ARE STILL MUDSLINGERS
What boy or man doesn't love good ole dirt and mud? Little toes exploring mud puddles have now become big toes. As long as they don't track it in the house, I'm good. One of the best items my husband ever got them was MUK boots. Now that two are driving, they'll probably get a little mud on the tires too! Truth be told, I like a lil mud on the tires too!

7. THEY ARE SO MUCH FUN!!!!
Plain and simple, these guys make us laugh! Where they come up with some of their antics and notions is beyond me! It's so important to have fun together as a family, especially during these formative years. When we engage in activities with them that we all love, it helps them feel understood and you'll be amazed how the lines of communication open up.
Be silly, let loose, enjoy life!!

BLESSED BEYOND WORDS!!

Linking up with Biana // Totally Terrific Tuesday // Show and Tell Tuesdays // Something to Talk About // Wordless Wednesday // Inspire Me Monday

// Inspire Me Tuesday // Lou Lou Girls Fabulous Party // Share It // Wordless Wednesday // Creative Monday's Blog Hop // Thoughts for Thursday

xoxo

  "Raising children is a creative endeavor, an art rather than a science."

~Bruno Bettelheim

ONLY.....SO LONELY

"Her name is Heather and she is my new baby sister", I announced to my first grade classmates.

But the truth was I didn't have a baby sister, a lie that was humiliatingly revealed when my mom showed up for parent teacher conferences the next evening.

Mrs. Sullivan, noticing my mother's flat stomach, threw mom for a loop when she said, "I'm surprised you're out and about already." "Huh", my mom replied. "But didn't you just have a baby? Andrea announced to the class she has a new baby sister!"
 

First Grade Photo

If only....

My mother was shocked despite Mrs. Sullivan assuring her that kids make up stuff like that all the time.

The truth was, even at the young age of seven, I desperately wanted sister, or even a brother for that matter.

I was an only child. While very much loved and cherished, still I was alone. To this day, I wished baby Heather had been real.

My parents have known, since my desperate attempt at an expanded family, that I wanted a sibling. It simply wasn't in the cards for my parents. Yet, I still tried. To my mom I would ask; "Are you sure you didn't give up a baby for adoption?" To my dad; "Are you sure no one is going to show up on our doorstep and call you Dad?"

My sweet mom when asked why she only had one child will say, "Well, when you get it perfect the first time, why try again?" Plus she makes it known when the stereotypical "only children are spoiled" topic comes up, that I was definitely NOT a spoiled brat. Yes, they only had one to buy for and devote time to, but it was done so with lessons of giving and compassion.  Genuine "Thank You's" were taught to me very early and to this day, I'd rather be the giver. For the things I do receive, I am grateful and have never once felt entitled .

While growing up, no one can deny the advantages of being an only child. My own room decorated the way I want, my parents undivided attention and a doggie I didn't have to share. Yet, I couldn't help but ache a little when witnessing my friends and their sibling camaraderie or their shared family memories.

The only child life didn't bother me as much in high school and college. Friends, dating and activities kept me busy. I'd become attached to a best friend like a sister. It was when that chapter of my life started to fade that the yearning for a sibling grew stronger.

Who's to say as an adult, I would even share a close bond with a sibling? However I do see friends bond deeper with their siblings over life experiences and I think about the future. I fell guilt because I worry about my parents own loneliness.

While I may not have a sibling bond, what I do have is an amazingly close relationship with my mother. She is my closest confidant, my partner in crime, my dearest friend and her concentrated love lifts me up. People even ask us if we are sisters. If only we were, I think, because then the inevitable might not be so bad if I knew I had fifty more years with her.

As I age into mid-life, the idea of facing my parents mortality alone is frightening. I think the cruelest is that when your parents die, you have no one left to share your childhood memories with, no one to say "Remember the last Christmas you believed in Santa?" Or "Remember making snow ice cream?" There's no one left to remember.....only you.............

My first Christmas 1971, Aren't my parents gorgeous!!

I am an only child but this factor does not define me. I'm blessed with a healthy mother and father whom I am close to, blessed with a husband and children who we create memories with. My parents taught me to be thoughtful, considerate, organized, and loyal. My sense and duty and responsibility to my parents runs deep.

While I'll always wish baby Heather was real, and at times feel like a lonely-only, I'll focus on what I do have and be ever so grateful for that!!

xoxo

"When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone."

~TENNESSEE WILLIAMS